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Seeking Clarity

July 24, 2010

It was a week, you know? In the real world, it was a good week. The kids are happy and well and enjoying the heck out of themselves. Sure, it’s loud here, and we’ve got issues to attend to. My oldest garden girlie has some temper issues that we’re working on. Bless her heart, last weekend after a blazing temper display over a simple question, I sat down with her and went over some questions she should ask herself. She, every inch my child, took notes, I kid you not.

What were the rules, which are now sing-sung to anyone having a bit of a hissy and for which I await having thrown back in my face?

1. Is this emotion appropriate?
2. Am I overreacting?
3. Is there a better way to handle it?

Well, at least she, and anyone in hearing distance, is internalizing these rules. Yesterday, she, along with her sister and cousin, turned it around and made a song about her brother, “Bobby’s overreacting” to the tune of for he’s a jolly good fellow.

So the real world here is busy, it’s bright like those lovely yellow chairs in the picture above, and it is by and large, good. Complex, interesting, busy, but good.

The wider world, though, that’s not so good, is it? The autism internet community finds more and more ways to make sure the divides become chasms and they do so over the graves of two innocent children.

I generally don’t like what I read over at AoA, and the comments are exceptionally poor, but that’s come to be expected. What really comes as a surprise at times is what I read of folks I expected better of. Vengeance, threats, the desire for violence to come to others are all things I don’t understand.

I really don’t. Rushes to judgment, the need to engage in all-out warfare, in a scorched-earth policy, I don’t get. You know, I like details, lots and lots of details and as many facts as I can get my hands on. Well, if one doesn’t have them, then it would be better to back up some, acknowledge that and temper one’s reaction.

You know, ask is my emotion appropriate, am I overreacting, is there a better way to handle it. Seems to me that there’s a great many of us who could stand to ask those questions of ourselves before we fly off the handle.

I’m going to work in my garden, sit in one of my new chairs with my husband next to me in the other, and I think we shall drink a beer and watch the buddha fountain and take a moment to be grateful for what we have.


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