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What Are You? A Lanza Counter

July 2, 2010

Ohmmmmm… Oh my gods!

I don’t know. Color me bored. Lanza’s on over at Huff again and I can’t seem to get a comment on his post. Hee. Don’t know why. So, I’m going to veg out this evening, eat some popcorn and drink some root beer and write. This latest woo-fest is by Robert Lanza, mystical guru god, he who hath heroically created the theory of biocentrism, except damnit, he needs a new name now that he’s decided we’re not physical and hence not biological.

“The world was once wondrous.”

The universe is indeed wondrous, as is this world, and all the people in it, including fatuous dumbasses.

“As a boy I remember mounting the stairs that led to the legendary Harvard Medical School. The huge granite slabs were worn by past generations of scientists.”

 Hee, he said mounted. He mounted the stairs? Sorry. Had to. Were the slabs worn because they’d been mounted?

“Here, I fancied, the greatest minds on the planet busied themselves around electron microscopes and ultra-centrifuges, working in their laboratories on secret experiments.”

I’m still stuck on the mounting.

“But I’m older now, and my colleagues tell me we’re just the activity of carbon and some proteins; we live awhile and die.”

Yeah, and wooier. What does the previous sentence, fancying and experimenting have to do with reality: we live and then we die.

“And the universe? It too has no meaning. They have it all worked out in the equations — no need for woo.”

No wonder you went wacky-woo; you thought you’d get definite answers, all the mysteries solved, but you didn’t like what you discovered? The universe is incredible; meaning is subjective and something we place on our realities. You could have remained at awe at how trillions of cells work together to create an organism with a consciousness, but you felt the need for woo.

“But a series of new experiments suggest this may be all wrong, and that part of us exists outside of the physical world.”

What? What series of new experiments? Why do all your posts go this way? Vague references and woo. Part of you exists outside of reason and rationality, that’s for sure.

“We’re trapped in an outdated paradigm. A few more equations, we’re told, and we’ll know it all — any day now.”

What planet do you live on? That’s such crap. Who believes this?

“There’s no adventure left, no lost gardens in far away lands.”

Oh my gods. Yeah, all the knowledge of the universe is already at our fingertips. We know it all now. Crap. Somebody needs a therapist and some help.

“But we all intuitively know there’s more to existence than our science books grant. It’s the same nostalgic yearning that gives religion its persistent power over humanity.”

There ya go. Woo, woo, woo. I’m gonna sell you some woo. Get ready for it. Dude, I get it. You’re bummed on the science. You’re bummed because you figured out there might not be anything after this. I totally understand.

“It was this search that lured me into science.”

I don’t know why you got all bummed out, other than losing your sister, but plenty of people don’t feel the need to completely butcher quantum theory.

 “It was startling to realize, after studying neurobiology, that objects, indeed our own bodies, are nothing but representations in our mind -− that we can’t see anything through the bone surrounding the brain.”

Objects and bodies are “nothing but representations”? I don’t think so. They’re rendered as representations but they exist outside of our experience of them.

“We assume there’s a universe “out there” separate from what we are, and that we play no role in its appearance. Yet since the 1920s, experiments have shown just the opposite; results do depend on whether anyone is observing. This is most vividly illustrated by the famous two-hole experiment. When you watch a particle go through the holes, it behaves like a bullet, passing through one hole or the other. But if no one observes the particle, it exhibits the behavior of a wave and can pass through both holes at the same time.”

These sentences don’t stack up the way he thinks they do. And if you think he’s explaining the two slit experiment well, here’s a neat site that looks at the experiment from Colorado.edu.

“This and other experiments tell us that unobserved particles exist only as “waves of probability” as Max Born demonstrated in 1926. They’re statistical predictions — nothing but a likely outcome. Until observed, they have no real existence; only when the mind sets the scaffolding in place can they be thought of as having duration or a position in space. Experiments make it increasingly clear that even mere knowledge in the experimenter’s mind is sufficient to convert possibility to reality.”

Somebody’s been reading The Secret!  If we’re not physical and we create reality as we go, what are we? Sounds like a fast way into a diagnosis of some sort, doesn’t it? Lanza drones on about how all this proves his biocentrism is the wave of the future. Considering last week he decided we reboot when we die, it’s no wonder now we’re not even physical. Next week, he’ll probably decide we’re not even quantum and don’t exist outside a snow globe.

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