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Thelma and Kim: Tackling a Protocol, Woo Woo to You

June 11, 2010

I was alerted by a friend to this therapy some parents with autistic children are using and swearing by, and I dug right into it. Now, my good friend Thelma has a thing about woo-quacks, especially naturopaths and chiropractors, so I shared this information with her, figuring two snarky heads are better than one on this kind of stuff, you know?

What follows is a free for all where the snark flies and it’s critical of the dumbasses, so if you are one, you’ve been forewarned and forearmed with a trigger alert: Snarkfest by some of the best dumbassologists around.  In fact, I’d venture to say, we’re the nation’s leading dumbassologists. So there. Prove we’re not. J

Thelma here, and godsamighty, after them fools who like to hook themselves up to them things like the Quantum SCIO and QXCI, you’d think I’d have seen it all. Nosirree, there is an endless stream of dumbasses, and don’t think I ain’t noticed Kim taking it upon herself to use my phrase. Shoulda trademarked it. This here Bioset thing is something else, that’s for sure.

The Bioset Protocol turned up no hits for the academic databases or on Pubmed. It’s not a protocol that has received any research. According to one site, “Bioenergetic Sensitivity and Enzyme Therapy, is an energy-based allergy elimination method that is based on Chinese medicine and acupuncture principles. Originated by Dr. Ellen Cutler, this allergy elimination method views the body holistically, similar to the Chinese approach. This view accepts the fact that there is an energy system in the human body that is separate from the cardiovascular system and nervous system. This system, which is comprised of “meridians,” has everything to do with the way the body maintains its overall health.”

The website explains Bioset further: “Bioset practitioners utilize Maridian (sic) Stress Assessment (MSA), for allergy testing, or they may use muscle testing (applied kinesiology), two non-invasive techniques that are both safe and reliable. MSA is computerized device that detects energy variations in the body.”

Thelma again. Yeah, folks, ya gotta remember that there’s a whole bunch of dumbasses folks buying into hooie, so what them smart entrepreneurs do is they just link into the woo folks is already buying. There’s just something so magical about energy flowing through your body and the whole idea that it gets clogged up, stick some needles into the skin and ya can clear them channels right up. Ya know, once ya have bought into that and the whole feng shui thing, ya can be sold just about anything, dontcha know?

Bioset advocates attempt to sound scientifically based, as many pseudoscience practitioners do: “Those who know a bit of biochemistry will understand that everything is comprised of energy. Every cell in a human body or even a physical building is in motion and part of a energy “wave.” The rhythms, frequencies, wavelengths, and electrical charges of vibrating energy waves are what creates the various forms of physical matter. Frequencies in the body, however, can become misaligned whereby energy blockages occur. Blocked energy, therefore, is responsible for allergies and illness.”

Reasonable people, if they’ve managed to follow along so far and buy into this theory surely, surely back up at this, though: “Muscle testing, another approach used by NAET practitioners, identifies blockages in a patient’s electromagnetic energy field when a patient is holding a specific allergen. During this test, patients may be lying down or sitting while they extend one arm out horizontally. In the other hand, a patient will hold a food, an allergen, or a vial containing the energetic vibration of a specific allergen. The practitioner pushes down on the wrist of the patient’s extended arm while the patient attempts to resist the downward pressure. If the patient is allergic to the substance he is holding, the indicator muscle (usually the deltoid muscle in the shoulder) will weaken and the patient’s arm will drop.”

Bless Kim, she thinks that most folks are reasonable people. Ain’t that cute? Kim, having watched her for awhile, I have noticed, questions every dang thing. Musta drove her parents crazy with the asking and the asking. Lookee here, if I done found folks selling these here Quantum readings who are willing to buy into the hairbrained idea that The Quantum is reading your Super-Conscience mind. 90% of your Super conscience mind is not being used, don’t rightly see how we can be surprised by what this Cutler lady is aselling.

Cutler sure thinks highly of herself, too: “Dr. Ellen Cutler, Enzyme Empress, as she is being called by her patients, is the bestselling author of four books, an internationally recognized teacher, an eminent public speaker and a distinguished media spokesperson, and she is on a holistic healing mission.”

Oh, she can go on, too: “Dr. Cutler is a well-spoken, media savvy professional who is passionate about her work. She is author of: MicroMiracles, Winning the War Against Asthma and Allergies, Winning the War Against Immune Disorders and Allergies and The Food Allergy Cure.”

She even has a set of ready-made questions for media folks to ask her, too. No need for any pesky questions like what her credentials are, what scientific evidence does she have. No, no, no. No need for that.

She’s happy to sell you some stuff, too, but if you want her really good stuff, you’re gonna have to find one of her practitioners to get that. For $450, you, too can be one of her practitioners, though. She’ll train you right up on the muscle testing trick, too, for a wee spot more. Ya gotta buy her books, though.

Of course, she says she’s a medical doctor and a chiropractor, but she ain’t big on the details of when and where. She assures ya she’s got 25 years of clinical practice and she’s a patient, too. First she healed herself and now she wants to heal you, too. For a price. Read her books, chew up her enzymes, get yerself to one of her practitioners so they can do some energy readings on ya.

Ooh, she’s got a pdf catalog of her special products ya have to get from a professional, too, cuz folks die for the exclusivity thing, and ifn they can’t buy it themselves, the whole idea of it being restricted just adds the allure to it, ya know? So many pretties that folks cain’t get their hands on. Shewey, does she know the game or what?

There is absolutely no empirical evidence for the validity of Bioset. The underlying theories girding Bioset are rejected by the scientific community (see muscle testing  paragraph above—what self-respecting scientifically minded individual wouldn’t double over laughing at the thought of this being anything other than woo?).

Chinese medicine is not based on an understanding of microbiology, anatomy and physiology, or pathology. Instead it is based onthe understanding of the human body is based on the holistic understanding of the universe as described in Daoism, and the treatment of illness is based primarily on the diagnosis and differentiation of syndromes.”  According to the Traditional Chinese Medicine Information Page, “The clinical diagnosis and treatment in Traditional Chinese Medicine are mainly based on the yin-yang and five elements theories. These theories apply the phenomena and laws of nature to the study of the physiological activities and pathological changes of the human body and its interrelationships. The typical TCM therapies include acupuncture, herbal medicine, and qigong exercises.”

I tell ya what, there’s a sucker out there for every kind of woo. There sure is, and ya know that dumbasses and their money are soon parted. And there are plenty of folks out there waiting to help you. Why, even though it don’t appear that Cutler thought to milk the autism community out of their money, some folks using her woo have.  Even autism organizations are linking to the woo: Autism Canada sends folks right to Cutler’s site.

Here’s a description of the assessment:A BioEnergetic Assessment (BEA) is a non invasive computerized method of testing. BEA measures energy imbalances in the body by utilizing an electronic instrument called the Avatar to examine acupuncture meridians. BioEnergetic testing is founded on the principles of vibrational medicine. Once the imbalances are determined, a customized program of nutritional, botanical and homeopathic remedies is formulated to meet your individual needs.”

How’s it work with autism, ya are asking?: “BioSET’s success lies in the fact that BioSET heals the child from the inside out. Children who suffer from these and other issues are highly sensitive individuals with overly reactive immune systems. Because they are so reactive, their immune systems become easily overloaded simply fighting off everyday foods which are misperceived as foreign antibodies.”

Why look at all the things Bioset fixes right up:

What conditions does BioSET effectively treat?
§  All forms of allergies / Chemical / Environmental sensitivities
§  Autism/Arthritis /Asthma
§  Attention Deficit Disorder
§  Bronchitis
§  Candidiasis
§  Cardiovascular Disorders
§  Childhood illnesses / Recurrent infections
§  Chronic fatigue syndrome
§  Chronic Vaginitis
§  Colitis / Crohn’s disease
§  Ear infections
§  Eczema and other skin problems
§  Fibromyalgia
§  Headaches and Migraines
§  Herpes
§  Infertility
§  Lupus
§  Menopause symptoms / PMS
§  Rheumatoid arthritis
§  Sinus conditions
§  Thyroid disorders
§  Vaccination reactions”

Good gods in the cosmos, ain’t that something? There is something there for everyone. It’ll even fix herpes, ain’t that something, and help ya breed. Thank the heavens and this brilliant woman who figured it all out. Thelma’s right sorry, but I gots to tell ya, ifn ya fall for this woo, ya surely deserve a smack with my purse.

Done spent enough time with the woo and the nuts, gonna let Kim tone it down some, offer up some nice closure on this.

It never ceases to amaze me at just how much woo is out there, how easily people can market it, and how quickly we can fall for it. Make it splashy, make it sound even somewhat plausible, or cloak it in mysticism and the ancient arts and we’re suckers. We want to feel good, we want to fix every little hurt, every bit of gas. We’re quick to pathologize everything from behavior to bodily discomfort. We want our cake and to eat it, too, even if we just can’t digest some foods the way we think we should be able to. 

We think we should be able to knock down 4,000 calories in a meal and suffer no discomfort, except at Thanksgiving when it’s a rite of passage to back away from the table overstuffed and uncomfortable.

Bioset was new on my radar until a couple days ago, and fortunately it doesn’t appear to be that huge a factor yet in the autism community, but the sad fact is there are nearly 67,000 hits for Bioset on the internet. People are hawking it, Cutler is selling books and products on Amazon, and yet again we see where marketing and style can gloss right by substance. Somehow, according to the blurb on one of her books, Ellen W. Cutler, M.D., is the nation’s leading authority on enzyme therapy and founder of BioSET, an innovative healing system that combines the use of enzyme supplements with other complementary medicine disciplines to treat a variety of chronic illnesses and achieve optimum health. Author of The Food Allergy Cure, among other books, Dr. Cutler resides in Marin County, California.” Who decides who the leading experts are? I mean Lanza and Ullman have decided they’re leading experts, too. Gordon and Sears think they are as well. Unfortunately, labeling like that impresses folks who don’t question, who don’t ask, who don’t think for a minute about the validity of the claims.

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