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>Umm, but Ari’s not against treatment, and neither are the overwhelming majority of people in the "neurodiverse movement"

March 29, 2010

>Stagliano attempts to recover from missteps in her Ne’eman post today: “I think some of you have misunderstood me. I apologize. Many of our kids have high functioning autism – we aren’t separating them out at all! Nor Asperger’s – which many of our kids have as well and we know can be profoundly debilitating and require treatment. I’m only referring to folks are vocally claim to be against treatment – not all our kids. Thanks. KIM”

Stagliano needs to go back and read her stuff, because she sure as all get out is arguing that Ne’eman isn’t qualified to speak out for those who are more impaired. She sure as heck thinks that Asperger’s and autism aren’t the same thing, either. I like the retraction, though, because before this she’s insisted that all their children are profoundly disabled.

You know what, you can be “high functioning” and still be profoundly impaired and incapable of living on your own. If you don’t think us non-woo parents aren’t fighting like hell to change that for our children, that we won’t move heaven and earth to help our children achieve that if at all possible, then you’ve gone way too far down that woo-hole and have self-justified yourself right out of this universe. Heck, maybe you’re over there with Lanza in one of his multiverses where folks don’t die.

The problem with strawmen is that once they’re burned, you’re left standing behind nothing, looking like the hapless guy behind the great and powerful Oz.

Stagliano and others like to assert strongly, shrilly, repeatedly that folks who don’t buy into their special brand of woo are against helping our kids do better, achieve their potential. Sure, it would make me feel better, too, as I went down the woo-hole to never never land to think the folks standing up there refusing to follow me down were all about doing nothing for our kids. We know that’s not the case, though. We want our children to be successful, happy, and live independent lives, so we work tirelessly to help them do better, and we work just as hard to help society see them as valuable, worthwhile people just as they are. And we do it without desperate forays into woo. See, we don’t need to recover our kids; we don’t think they were stolen from us. We aren’t going bonkers over some vainglorious attempt at a magic pill or at casting ourselves as victims and martyrs who have been lied to and cheated of our children by big pharma.

Look, the folks at AoA are going to have to make a choice at some point, especially as their children grow up and can look back at the garbage that their parents put out there, do they keep going after the woo, do they keep up with the conspiracy theories or do they start viewing their actions within the context of having to answer to their children for what they have done.

In the end, we fight for our children so that they will have better lives, and we move forward with an eye on the future and how we and they will judge our past actions. I mean, if it’s about the kids, if it’s about autistic people and helping make sure they are appreciated, accepted, and accommodated, you want to focus on things that make that happen.

Show me how AoA does that.

  1. March 29, 2010 7:26 pm

    >Wonderfully and bluntly said. I disagree that the AoA parents will have to make a choice though. I think that if the AoA posters writers (the ones who claim their lives a tragic, their children ghosts, worse than having aids blah blah) had children that were NT those children would grow up with the same sort of martyred message:"I gave up EVERYTHING for you, all the pain of child birth all the things I went without so that you could have them instead. I starved so you could eat," blah blah.It is my experience that martyrs are martyrs regardless of the cards that life deals them.The only difference being that because the AoA parents have children diagnosed with autism they have a club to join to share their woe is me martyrdom.

  2. March 29, 2010 8:18 pm

    >It will certainly be embarrassing for them if their kids grow up and join THe Autistic Self Advocacy Network…

  3. March 29, 2010 8:26 pm

    >There's also anti-youth bigotry involved, too. Youth are seen as less worthy to speak for themselves simply because of their age, even up to late teens and early twenties. Some people even make this assumption with people in their late twenties! Not only are Ari and the AoA parents' kids being dismissed because they're autistic, they're also being dismissed because of their age. It is especially true of the AoA parents' kids because of the power structure that awards all sorts of rights and privileges to the parents and doesn't effectively safeguard the rights of the children involved. Right now, in the US, the *right* of parents to use corporal punishment on their children is protected under law. For this reason and many others, it is almost impossible, legally, for someone to escape an abusive parent or even get adequate retribution for parental abuse. I would highly recommend reading Abused kids can't really sue their parents at the site What Privilege?

  4. March 29, 2010 9:21 pm

    >But without a good conspiracy, she'd just have no reason to get up and put industrial chemicals on her kids' breakfast cereal each morning.

  5. March 29, 2010 9:55 pm

    >It would seem as though Ms Stagliano had got her tit caught in the wringer, but having seen her photo, I realize there's not much chance of that. ;-)

  6. March 30, 2010 6:06 pm

    >I'd step in front of a bus if it would help my kid.What I won't do is put my kid in front of a bus. What I won't do is put my kid at even a small risk for no benefit.That's the crux of the argument. The "treatments" that are promoted by people like Kim Stagliano are not proven to be useful or safe.I guess giving a chemical designed to clean mining waste to a few rats is supposed to be convincing to me? If I thought my kid had "heavy metal poisoning" I'd run to the nearest expert. I'd be pushing people out of the way. What I wouldn't do is accept a test that medical toxicologists warn me is fraudulent.I'm not anti treatment. I'm anti bad science. Especially where it involves risky medicine.

  7. March 31, 2010 2:18 am

    >Great post and insight! I'm new to blogging and so wish I had known other autism/asperger parents years ago. It sure would of helped me as well. :-)Follow now and have you on my favorite blog list too. Thanks for a great sight and fighting for our kids!!Hugs,Coreen

  8. March 31, 2010 2:18 am

    >Great post and insight! I'm new to blogging and so wish I had known other autism/asperger parents years ago. It sure would of helped me as well. :-)Follow now and have you on my favorite blog list too. Thanks for a great sight and fighting for our kids!!Hugs,Coreen

  9. March 31, 2010 2:53 am

    >Got carried away with classes and stuff…..sorry for the delay in responding.@sirenity: ahhh, blunt I do well. 🙂 Yes, you're undoubtedly right; they'd have been martyrs regardless and those parents who were never pleased despite their children's best attempts.@Socrates, wouldn't that be just rich?@SBWG, undoubtedly. They don't think their children are capable of self-advocating, so they certainly aren't going to appreciate it in Ari. They accept Crosby only because he is in lockstep with them.@Nostrum,That's still funny, reading it a day later. :-)@Clay,Now, not everyone is endowed with the ample bounciness that Louise and Thelma have (not to mention the kindness of old age in adding to the availability of ampleness). I have it on good authority that the woman is lovely in a bathing suit., were I religious, I would offer a hearty amen. @Coreen, So happy to meet you; at least one good thing to come out of the Smockity mess is that we've made lots of new friends. 🙂 I've added you to my blogroll, too, and getting to know you.:-)

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